by Jim Surkamp
These times, using tobacco bans are heading up in one particular local community right after one more, as rapidly as the burn up on a low-cost cigar. (The type of low-cost cigar that only a dilettante would smoke, of program.) Early in 2008, general public using tobacco was even in difficulties in Las Vegas casinos–which a lot of observers would have assumed would be the very last places on earth, following Durham, North Carolina, and the government boardrooms of Davidoff, Inc., where smoking would by no means be banned.
But you will find an even more distant location the place smoking cigarettes may nevertheless be safe–the North Pole. Soon after all, every person who ever celebrated Christmas knows that Santa is seldom to be noticed without having a pipe protruding from his beard–right? And Frosty the Snowman, however he may possibly fear immediate daylight (and the removal of magic hats), will not concern the anti-using tobacco lobby, does he?
Well, it really is just feasible that the predicament is direr than may well have been imagined.
A Google look for on “Santa” and “smoking cigarettes” (or “Does Santa smoke”) turns up all method of hits–most of them having tiny to do with smoking cigarettes or, in many situations, Santa. There are also, as expected, a handful of references to Jolly Old St. Nick’s enjoy of the pipe, which combines with his unique sartorial ideas (the odd purple gown, the black belt, that goofy cap) and his countless beard to generate the traditional Santa image that we all know and love. Individuals question aloud on message boards about what sort of tobacco Santa smokes, and whether it is difficult to get a pipe lit in that moist, wind-whipping North Pole air. The Google who looks for prolonged sufficient will even operate throughout a handful of fundamentalist Christian internet sites that argue that Santa is a bad influence, and part of a “secular conspiracy,” because he encourages smoking cigarettes (!).
But, correct there on the very first or 2nd list of hits, you are going to also get a observe from a Canadian health firm which claims to be prepared by Santa, in which the existing-bringing excess fat man specifics how he last but not least kicked the pipe practice right after years of problems from Mrs. Claus. St. Nick’s longtime companion was, he writes, anxious about his well being and the scent. The letter concludes by telling us that Santa’s on the patch.
And Mrs. Claus is creating him consume high-fiber cookies as treats, too.
In the previous few many years, conservatives have complained that Santa Claus is currently being created “politically appropriate,” depicted as thinner and less jolly. Therefore much this writer has witnessed minor proof of this sort of a adjust. But these large-fiber cookies–and the no-a lot more-pipe-smoking rule at the Claus household–do audio a bit threatening. How will a skinny, healthier Santa Claus handle to stay insulated from all that chilly North Pole temperature? Soon after all, a layer of blubber and a excellent long smoke offer you some defense in an icy local climate.
But if Santa is–perhaps–laying off the cigarette smoking for the instant, a single would feel that yet another getaway icon–Frosty the Snowman–will cling on a little bit lengthier. Cigarette smoking is such an essential element of Frosty’s way of life that, in the music which serves as his autobiography, it receives described prior to one particular of his personal bodily appendages: “With a corncob pipe/and a button nose.” Besides, most kids are intelligent ample to figure out that just due to the fact an anthropomorphic snow-blob smokes, that isn’t going to indicate they need to have to do so.
So Frosty’s cigarette smoking practice is possibly protected. Appropriate? Not in accordance to the producers of a nineties-era cartoon which now helps make the vacation rounds together with the aged “Frosty the Snowman” and “Rudolf the Crimson-Nosed Reindeer” specials that every Television set-operator beneath sixty will immediately don’t forget. In “Frosty Returns,” that corncob pipe is conspicuously absent. What up coming? The button nose?
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